Thoughts of you keep playing in my head. It’s like a broken record; or an endless carousel ride: up and down, round and round; or a film reel that is continuously reset once finished. In the in-between spaces; in the pauses.
You’re the first thought (after ‘What time is it now?’) when I wake up in the morning. Those idle moments when I lay in bed staring at the patch of sky seen through my half-curtained windows, dreading the start of another day.
Yours is the face I day dream when I’m sitting in a lecture in the middle of my day. The one I can’t stop thinking of for the rest of it – and then some. Thoughts of having once been together and of the silly things we did. Waltzing in the rain. Squeezing your hand and downing beers while having our feet dipped into pools of fish that would nibble our skin (gross!). And the best part of those days? Curling up with you at the end of it all; your arms enveloping me in your warmth and your whispers in my ear. Your wall of comfort.
These things I still crave so incessantly yet I know these are the things I still cannot have. I’m upset, or maybe I’m just scared, knowing that I can be so consumed by you even in your absence. You still feel like homeand it makes me kind of embarrassed of my thoughts because I’m probably sharing these feelings of want quite alone. At night, before I close my eyes to drift into my dreamless sleep, I am naive enough to hope of all the things that could be in a future of our intertwining lives. Silly, isn’t it? Yet, I’m well aware I’m only dreaming.
xx
Posted 3 months ago with 1 note-
melancholybaby posted this
